Monday, September 29, 2025
Tag:

diversity

Trump Applauds GC for Pioneering Anti-DEI Leadership Long Before it Was Ordered

In a fiery press conference President Donald Trump praised Seventh-day Adventist General Conference (GC) leadership for their “visionary, ahead-of-the-curve rejection of woke DEI nonsense,”...

Historian Waxes Nostalgic About The Good Old White Days Of Adventism

In an uncomfortable turn of nostalgia, an Adventist historian recently found himself yearning for the days when "what the white man said was final." Leadership,...

Neuralink Places Ted Wilson Chip in All GC Employee Brains To Improve Compliance

Silver Spring, Md. — General Conference President Ted Wilson has taken steps to ensure his vision remains unchallenged by implanting Neuralink chips in the...

Nobody Celebrating Unbroken Record Of White, Male GC Leadership

SILVER SPRING, Md. --- The traditional ivory white sheet cake at the annual gathering of Adventist Heritage Enthusiasts was dispensed with this year...

Buttigieg Takes Heat For Being “Whiter Than Walla Walla”

SOUTH BEND, Ind. --- As he rises in the polls, US presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg is struggling to appeal to black voters. After it emerged...

GC declares Adventist martial law to enforce unity

SILVER SPRING, Md. --- In a bid to ensure unity within the Church worldwide, the General Conference has declared Adventist Martial Law. "As of this...

Adventist Church commissions Lin-Manuel Miranda to compose new English Hymnal

SILVER SPRING, Md.--- In a move that has sent shockwaves of enthusiasm across the world, the Seventh-day Adventist Church has announced its decision to...

Adventist Church reprimands Union College for slipping okra into haystacks

SILVER SPRING, Md. --- Leaders of the Seventh-day Adventist Church released a scathing rebuke of the denomination's Nebraska-based Union College this morning. The criticism...