29th Adventist Fundamental: Every Problem is Best Solved by a New Committee

SILVER SPRING, Md. — In a move that surprised absolutely no one, the General Conference Executive Committee has officially enshrined a 29th fundamental belief: every problem, no matter how big Read more […]

GC Creates Mega Unions Because Church Needs More Committees

SILVER SPRING, Md. — In a move that has Adventists everywhere scratching their heads, the General Conference has announced the creation of a new layer of bureaucracy to add to the already labyrinthine Read more […]

GC Christmas Decorations Consist Entirely Of Red Tape

    SILVER SPRING, Md. — The General Conference building has joined the festive season by decorating each floor with an impressive amount of red tape. Feeling the tithe parity Read more […]

Judge Judy to preside over GC Annual Council

SILVER SPRING, Md. — Due to the very sensitive nature of the agenda for this year’s General Conference Annual Council, the Adventist Church has hired outside help to preside over the meetings. Read more […]