Adventist leaders pray for new prophet in 2016 — a male one

SILVER SPRING, Md. — General Conference leaders are ushering in 2016 with a season of prayer and fasting for a new Adventist prophet in 2016. This time around, however, leaders are specifically Read more […]

Adventist leaders bash Trump’s ‘Muslim ban,’ still cool with women’s ordination ban

SILVER SPRING, Md. — Leaders at the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists were quick to condemn a call for a “total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the US” by billionaire US Read more […]

Amy Schumer to present GYC keynote on women in leadership

LANSING, Mich. — Conference organizers have decided to invite more than the usual roster of suited aging males to present at the 2015 Louisville-based GYC (Generation of Youth for Christ) Conference. Read more […]

Female employee ejected from GC Halloween party for looking “too ordained”

BREAKING NEWS SILVER SPRING, Md. — The annual world mission-themed Harvest Festival (Halloween) Costume Party at the General Conference headquarters took an unexpected turn today as a female Read more […]

Adventist Church is a great place for women, according to old male leaders

SILVER SPRING, Md. — Delegates at the 2015 Annual Council meeting held at the General Conference offices have voted to approve a statement praising the denomination as “a great place for women.” The Read more […]

Nobel Peace Prize awarded to Adventist Michael Ryan for moderating GC Women’s Ordination Debate

OSLO, Norway — In a surprise announcement, the Norwegian Nobel Committee has announced that for the first time a Seventh-day Adventist has been awarded the much-lauded Nobel Peace Prize. Explaining Read more […]

Pope visits General Conference to congratulate leaders on keeping ordination male-only

SILVER SPRING, Md. — On the morning of the first full day of his visit to the United States, Pope Francis paid a surprising visit to the General Conference headquarters of the Seventh-day Adventist Read more […]

New General Conference slogan: “Unity Over Conscience”

Silver Spring, MD — General Conference leaders seeking a catchy slogan to power their efforts until the next GC elections have found one they are convinced has a fun ring to it: Unity Over Conscience. “What Read more […]

Following Megyn Kelly diss, General Conference names Trump Women’s Ministries Advisor

SILVER SPRING, Md. — Citing the need for strong male leadership in women’s ministries, General Conference leadership has looked to bring in some outside expertise in the form of outspoken real Read more […]

Obama to repeat anti-women’s oppression speech to GC upon return to America

NAIROBI, Kenya — Thousands of Kenyans gathered in a Nairobi sports center roared their approval yesterday as US President Barack Obama categorically condemned the justification of the oppression Read more […]