In a celestial press release a spokes-angel has revealed that the Savior is genuinely puzzled by the Adventist Church’s longstanding “Jesus is Coming, I Will Go!” slogan.
“The Lord has been eagerly preparing for His return, longing to reunite with His faithful people,” the angel explained with a sigh. “But this phrasing makes it sound like the Adventists are grabbing their bags and bolting just as He’s arriving. It’s like planning a family reunion only to hear the guests say, ‘Great, see ya—I’m out!'”
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The GC responded admitting that an internal investigation revealed the offending slogan had been created in haste. The committee responsible had been so “enthusiastically anticipating” a catered lunch that they had simply phoned in the whole affair, prioritizing their meal over a thorough theological review.
The GC has announced the immediate formation of a new slogan committee, tasked with vetting all future church slogans for double entendres. This new body will be monitored to ensure it remains focused and, according to the press release, never meets right before a mealtime.
