Great Disappointment
Underpaid Church Employee Sick of Hearing His Treasure is in Heaven
Timothy, who has faithfully served as the church's youth pastor for over a decade, is now lamenting his earthly situation and wishing for some tangible benefits to go along...
Great Disappointment
Other Great Adventist Disappointments
1844 will likely always take 1st prize in terms of historic disappointment for Adventists but there are some present day letdowns that can also put...
Biden
Republican Adventists Declare Second Great Disappointment
RED AMERICA - After a longed for mid-term red wave failed to materialize, Republican Adventists have likened the letdown to a "Second Great Disappointment."
"This...
General Conference
Bad Driver’s Guardian Angel On Stress Leave
HEAVEN — After enduring several traffic close calls this week due to the horrendous driving of his 25-year-old protectee, guardian angel Passencius filed for...
Great Disappointment
Most Segregated Institution In America Condemns Racism
The wealthiest, most powerful nation in the world is reeling from the fatal results of systemic racism.
As Americans grieve the latest atrocities, the...
Great Disappointment
Undecorated Adventist Homes Prove Great Disappointment To Trick-Or-Treaters
WORLDWIDE --- Children going trick-or-treating this year have reported "great disappointment" with Adventist homes in their neighborhoods.
Many of the offending families have not bothered...
Great Disappointment
AV Guy Lacks Spiritual Gift Of Song Service Slide Advancement
Tone Deaf, Mich. --- Joyful Noise Adventist Church members are at a loss as to what to do with their AV guy, Han Sauver,...
Great Disappointment
Loma Linda Announces Degree In Last Chance Courtship
LOMA LINDA, Calif. --- Loma Linda University has announced a degree in Last Chance Courtship that allows students to do nothing but walk around...
Great Disappointment
Security experts warn Adventists to stop using 1844 for their PIN numbers
SECURITY UPDATE
SILVER SPRING, Md. --- Security experts at Adventist Risk Management have warned Adventists using 1844 as their PIN number that they are exposing...
Great Disappointment
GC buys blackout drapes to avoid receiving more light
Silver Spring, Md. --- A bulk order of discount blackout drapes was installed in every window of the General Conference offices today.
The drapes were...
Great Disappointment
Report: 99% of Adventists have permanently fractured funny bones
LOMA LINDA, Calif. --- A worldwide study of Adventists has found that 99% of Adventists suffered from permanently fractured funny bones.
"The fracture means that...