Monday, September 29, 2025

Remnant Complex

Local Adventist Church Baffled by Lack of Community Interest Despite “Obviously Superior Lifestyle”

Babylon, MD— Members of the Righteousness Heights Seventh-day Adventist Church expressed bewilderment this week after their latest evangelistic series, "Why Everyone Should Be Like Us," failed to attract a...

GC: We’re Not Exclusive, We Just Prefer to Be Right Alone

SILVER SPRING, MD—The Seventh-day Adventist General Conference (GC) has released a new statement on denominational exclusivism: “We categorically deny any suggestion that the Seventh-day Adventist...

Sabbath School Department Releases “Remnant Coloring Book” for Ages 3 and Up-Stay Inside the Lines or Risk Apostasy

In an inspired leap forward for doctrinal formation, the General Conference Sabbath School Department has announced the launch of its “Remnant Coloring Book,” designed...

9 Things Adventists Get Wrong

Even a movement rooted in truth has blind spots. Here’s where Adventism might be missing the mark. 1. Vegan Diets as Holiness Metrics ...

MyWay Press Introduces 10X King James Version With Less Inclusive Language

Hallelujah, church! Are you tired of that newfangled "everyone is welcome" mumbo jumbo? Does the concept of "loving thy neighbor" feel...incomplete somehow? Well, fret...

Signs Someone Suffers From Remnant Complex

  Someone suffering from Remnant Complex behaves/thinks in really distinctive ways. Here are a few: They’ve Got it all Figured Out  As in, they know the 28...

Legalistic Sunblock Protects Users From New Light

WORLDWIDE --- To minimize the chances of people experiencing spiritual growth of any kind, Remnant Complex Industries has just launched a legalistic sunblock that...

Heaven Creates Subdivision For Adventists

HEAVEN - Construction angels have been working overtime lately as an ultra-exclusive gated community in heaven takes shape. The subdivision will only house Adventists and...

Spirit-led Adventist late to church after taking wrong exit

INLAND EMPIRE, Calif. --- A devout Adventist well known for claiming to be "100% Spirit-led" sheepishly sank into a back pew last Sabbath after...

Adventist diagnosed with arrogant remnant complex

WALLA WALLA, Wash. --- Fifth-generation Adventist Seiflee Abborhd was rushed to the emergency room of Providence St. Mary Medical Center this morning, suffering from...

Adventists trace roots directly to famous Pharisee

SILVER SPRING, Md. --- The results of a historical study into the pre-Reformation roots of the Adventist Church have led to a man of...