Sabbath
Dear Sabbath, I Love You — But I Need a Nap (See You Sunday)
Sabbath, we need to talk.
You’re beautiful, holy, and full of veggie meatballs — but also… kind of exhausting.
The “Day of Rest” Marathon
It starts at 9:15 a.m. when I’m already...
Sabbath
Sabbath: The World’s Most Underrated Superpower
Adventists have a lot of quirks. (Caffeine angst. Our complicated relationship with cheese. That one deacon who guards the foyer like he’s Secret Service.)...
Sabbath
Sabbath Was Never Supposed to Be This Boring
The Sabbath wasn’t designed to drain life out of you—it was meant to pour life into you.
From the very beginning, Sabbath was about divine...
Sabbath
Sabbath as Civil Disobedience: The Day We Refuse to Be Owned
Imagine this: a world that demands you clock in, check your notifications, and prove your productivity seven days a week. A world that treats...
Sabbath
GC Emails Members: “What Sinful Work Did You Sneak in Last Sabbath?”
SILVER SPRING, Md. — In a bold move inspired by Elon Musk’s federal efficiency crusade, the General Conference (GC) of Seventh-day Adventists emailed all...
Sabbath
9 Ways We’ve Made the Sabbath More Stressful Than Tuesday
What began as a divine invitation to rest can now resembles a spiritual decathlon—complete with potluck rivalries, sermon analytics, and Sabbath school showdowns. In...
Sabbath
Study Reveals Direct Link Between January and Decreased “Happy Sabbath” Utterances
Researchers at Loma Linda University have uncovered a startling correlation between the month of January and a significant decline in the frequency of "Happy...
Sabbath
GC MOVIE – Heaven Entrance Exam Leaked: “What Day is the Sabbath?” Only Question
The upcoming General Conference-produced movie "The Pearly Gates Dilemma" has leaked a controversial scene that has the Adventist community buzzing. The scene reveals that...
Sabbath
Berrien Woman Claims To-Do List Magically Expands on Fridays
BERRIEN COUNTY, MI - For Mildred Tibbles of Berrien County, preparing for the Sabbath has become a weekly battle against an invisible, and some...
Sabbath
Ladida SDA Church Replaces “Happy Sabbath” with “Namaste” Greeting
Ladida, Maine - In a move that has sent ripples of controversy through the Ladida Seventh-day Adventist Church, the church board has decided to...
Sabbath
“Will Ted Wilson be GC President until the Second Coming?” and Other Kosher Sabbath Lunch Conversation Topics
Been invited to Sabbath lunch but don’t know what’s kosher to talk about? Here’s a carefully vetted list of Sabbath-appropriate conversation topics:
The merits...