GC Announces Historic Starbucks Agreement for San Antonio Session

SILVER SPRING, Md. — There will be coffee at the San Antonio General Conference this summer. Kind of. General Conference Health Ministries Director, Sam Rigby, announced an agreement Read more […]

Water supply nearly exhausted at Australia-based iThirst camporee after Super Soaker fight gets out of hand

TOOWOOMBA, Queensland — “We shouldn’t have pushed the water fights in the advertising,” admitted South Pacific Division Youth Director, Victor Harley over the din of an army of supply trucks Read more […]

Female undergrad takes shortcut through Andrews seminary building, exits engaged

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — Sarah Parker, a Junior Biology major at Andrews University officially changed her Facebook status from “Single” to “Engaged” this morning after a different walking route Read more […]

New hot air ballooning program draws hundreds of transfer students to PUC this spring

ANGWIN, Calif. — A hot air ballooning degree program launched this school year at Pacific Union College has already drawn over 200 transfer students to the school this Spring Quarter. PUC launched Read more […]

Slide Show: 10 resolutions Adventists probably won’t keep

Ah, the resolutions of a new year: filled with so many good intentions, so much promise! Too bad it will all probably degenerate into a wretched suckpool of despair, half-hearted excuses and flagging energy in a matter of months. But hey, you never know. This could be your year!

5000 young adults expected for speed dating event tonight at GYC Phoenix Conference

PHOENIX, Ariz. — “We have an opportunity to make Adventist history tonight,” said lead organizer, Sandra Ramirez to a passionate GYC (Generation of Youth for Christ) crowd this morning. Read more […]

GC launches space exploration program titled ‘Not of the world – not in it either’

SILVER SPRING, Md. — As 2015 dawns, General Conference officials have unveiled some of the boldest plans for the world church to date: space exploration. “For decades, we as church Read more […]

Fireworks canceled due to farting cows at Andrews dairy farm

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — Thousands of Berrien Springs residents are heading into 2015 with disappointment in their hearts as a major Andrews University-based fireworks show was canceled Read more […]

Adventists cancel Welcome Back party for Year Without God Ex-Pastor, Ryan Bell

LOS ANGELES, Calif. — “We better hope the party supply place does returns,” said exasperated Adventist events manager, Maria Romero, as she stood in a half-decorated downtown Los Angeles Read more […]

Walla Walla offers scholarships to students with biblical names

COLLEGE PLACE, Wash. — If your name happens to be Sarah, Seth or Jeremiah, Walla Walla University has a late Christmas miracle of an announcement for you. Effective this Spring Quarter, Read more […]