SILVER SPRING, Md. — Worker productivity levels have sunk to historic lows at the General Conference headquarters of the Adventist Church as candidates for the newly-minted Executive Servant Read more […]
LOMA LINDA, Calif. — A chance visit to an Adventist church in Loma Linda last Sabbath has reportedly led members of world-renowned heavy metal band Black Sabbath to change their name to Happy Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Claiming that Sabbath morning church services are starting to resemble a mass slumber party, Adventist church leadership announced formal punishments for repeat church nappers: Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Hope Channel President Pastor Derek Morris has been fired from his position after failing to get through the entire week of lesson studies on his Hope Sabbath School program. The Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — The results of a historical study into the pre-Reformation roots of the Adventist Church have led to a man of significant social stature in the New Testament. The General Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — In a controversial decision, Adventist leaders have chosen to retire frequent GC Session theme song and crowd favorite, “We Have This Hope,” and replace it with gospel spiritual, Read more […]
WEST COVINA, Calif. — After a rousing sermon yesterday in which Pastor Les Cloo challenged his congregation to fast from Krispy Kreme donuts, West Covina Seventh-day Adventist Church received Read more […]
APOPKA, Fla. — A fierce-looking alligator disrupted the third service of Forest Lake Seventh-day Adventist Church this morning. The animal was found in the baptismal pool directly before Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — In a bid to end all debate about appropriate skirt-length for Adventist women, very old men who lead the church decided the only sensible solution is that Adventist skirts Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — In a statement released this morning, the General Conference headquarters of the Adventist Church claimed the Israelites wandered in the wilderness for 40 years because Read more […]
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