As the famous Saturday Night Live skit taught us, there’s no such thing as too much cowbell. And as Adventists, we seem to have missed the memo on the gospel truth of more cowbell making everything Read more […]
The usually peaceful Polkadot Plains Adventist Church was the scene of mild commotion this Sabbath, as 73-year-old Ethel Rutabaga reportedly delayed potluck with a dramatic prayer for Jesus to Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, MD – The North American Division of the Seventh-day Adventist Church has declared next Saturday as the first annual “Pray For Jon Bon Jovi’s Vocal Cords Day.” All Adventists across Read more […]
“Good morning CHURCH!! We’ve got a real treat for you this morning. It’s a brand new song we’re going to learn! Can I have an Amen?” yelled an overexcited Ben Hilson as he took to the Read more […]
Non-musical Adventists will need to re-enter the watery grave thanks to new guidance from the GC department of music compliance. The rationale for the new rule is that members that don’t play Read more […]
Chalkboard, Mich. — Members of Flat Note Seventh-day Adventist Church are bracing themselves for yet another special music by their tone-deaf soloist (and only willing special music provider) Read more […]
Ah, Adventist hymns. The perfect way to lull yourself into a peaceful Sabbath afternoon nap (or get riled up for that evangelistic campaign.) Here are some of our favorite Adventist hymn names (with Read more […]
ATLANTA, Ga. – Fresh off another Donda listening event in Atlanta’s Mercedes-Benz Stadium, rapper/fashion designer Kanye West announced that ahead of his yet-to-be-released album, he wants to Read more […]
ATLANTA, Ga. — Adventist hymnals are headed for the dumpsters after a statement released by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention calling the volumes “super spreaders.” The CDC Read more […]
Amen Tumbleweed, Tenn. — Members of Gentle Whisper Adventist Church were devastated last Sabbath as their weekly Zoom service was attacked by what head elder, Sal Encio, described as “a malicious Read more […]
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