Shady prophecy ministries schedule fundraisers to coincide with eclipse

ADVENTIST WORLD — Wild-eyed conspiracy theorists running backwoods independent prophecy ministries from cabin studios across North America are running competing fundraisers to cash in on today’s Read more […]

Adventist BNB launches with 144,000 rental hosts

WORLDWIDE — Adventist BNB, a service that promises to connect Adventist vacationers and others seeking accommodation with Adventist hosts around the world, has launched with a staggering 144,000 Read more […]

Union College transfer program puts students in same class as camp crush

LINCOLN, Neb. — In a step sure to revolutionize Adventist college recruiting, Union College announced today that transfer students to the school will be placed in the same class as their camp Read more […]

GC buys blackout drapes to avoid receiving more light

Silver Spring, Md. — A bulk order of discount blackout drapes was installed in every window of the General Conference offices today. The drapes were fitted carefully to prevent world leaders Read more […]

Pastor fired for using Adventist church manual as door stop

PORTLAND, Ore. — An Adventist pastor has been terminated after he was caught using the church manual as a door stop. When asked to explain his behavior, Pastor Frank Laughlez of Grace Conditional Read more […]

Old-boy network to occupy second floor of GC building as NAD moves out

SILVER SPRING, Md. — An old-boy network is busy packing glass ceiling schematics and immense influence into boxes for a move into the General Conference building later this month. The network Read more […]