Hope Channel to release Adventist version of “The Bachelorette”

“Adventist television just got spicier,” said Hope Channel spokesperson Brad Curtis as he unveiled the channel’s plan to introduce Hope for Everyone, an Adventist version of the the reality show Read more […]

Church board votes to have more arguments

Board members of the Verdugo Seventh-day Adventist Church voted Tuesday on new protocol for their meetings, which includes more arguments, to ensure the meetings definitely go on for too long. The Read more […]

Biblical Research Institute: Carob in violation of 9th Commandment

TAKOMA PARK, Md. — In a landmark ruling for what many are calling the Supreme Court of the Adventist Church, the Biblical Research Institute has ruled that current advertising for carob products Read more […]

10 good things about being an Adventist

10.) A lack of dance skills is actually looked upon favorably. These dance moves by Adventists I have seen done, yes. 9.) Wearing long skirts means you hardly have to shave your legs. 8.) Read more […]

Old man praises Adventism’s sleep quality benefits

PORTLAND, Ore. —  Chuck Matthews, 75, says he’s been a Christian since he was a child but that his recent conversion to Adventism has worked wonders for his sleep.  “I converted mostly Read more […]

Ask Auntie Adventist: Is Adventism a cult?

Today we inaugurate a new feature, “Ask Auntie Adventist,” where all your burning questions about Adventism are answered by a highly opinionated, semi-trained professional (at what, we won’t Read more […]

Loma Linda centenarian sends would-be mugger to hospital

Loma Linda, Calif. — Muggers in the Loma Linda-area have been dealt a serious setback when it comes to access to the local geriatric population.  Ed Sutherland, 23, was no match for 110-year-old Read more […]

New study reveals findings on “Pew Paralysis”

Most Seventh-day Adventist church-goers, ranging from the casual to the committed, have experienced what researchers call “pew paralysis”— once seated, they remain confined to a space roughly Read more […]

SDA theme park in the works

SILVER SPRING, Md. — Impressed by the success of the Mormon-run Polynesian Cultural Center in Hawaii and the Christian theme park The Holy Land Experience in Florida, Seventh-day Adventist leaders Read more […]