Adventists named ‘World’s Worst Dancers’
PARIS, France — Seventh-day Adventists have been officially identified as the World’s Worst Dancers. The finding comes as a result of a five-year study by a team of sociologists Read more […]
Category: Adventist Culture
General Conference offices to move to Brazil
In a surprise announcement this morning, the General Conference Communications Department announced that as of this summer all General Conference offices would be moving to Brazil.
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Pesky new people wreak havoc on Sister Helda’s church seating designs
TOPEKA, Kan. — For 39 years Sister Helda Emerson hasn’t missed a single Sabbath at her local church. Even more impressively, she has occupied the same seat every week: the left-hand center Read more […]
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96-year-old Adventist woman marries for 11th time
BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich — Through no fault of her own, Eleanor Chambers has outlived 10 husbands and is about to marry her eleventh, Charles Spencer. “I lost count after I beat Elizabeth Taylor’s Read more […]
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Slide Show: 10 Adventist status symbols
Adventists are called to be sober, humble, meek, all while wearing little to no makeup or jewelry. But that doesn’t mean they don’t have their own ways of letting you know what’s what or who’s who.
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Adventist Review rebranded as tabloid
TAKOMA PARK, Md. — Faced with sagging readership enthusiasm and massive young adult disinterest, The Adventist Review has decided to rebrand itself as Remember in Prayer (RIP), the first Read more […]
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Portland-based “Keep Adventism Weird” campaign in full swing
PORTLAND, Ore. — Inspired by the wildly-popular “Keep Portland Weird” slogan that has done wonders for the city’s tourism, Portland-based Adventists have decided to promote Adventism’s quirks Read more […]
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TractCannon: Witnessing at the pull of a trigger
Fresh off the monster success of the iWade (Sabbath water wading aid), Weimar-based AdvenTech is beta testing an entirely new product line. Instead of protecting against inappropriate Sabbath Read more […]
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Pastor commits to fitness regime after baptismal bungle
El Paso, Tex. — It all started three months ago when Pastor Dave Bernsten was baptizing Bobby Franklin at Verdugo Grove Adventist Church. Bernsten lowered Franklin into the water perfectly Read more […]
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Hope Channel to release Adventist version of “The Bachelorette”
“Adventist television just got spicier,” said Hope Channel spokesperson Brad Curtis as he unveiled the channel’s plan to introduce Hope for Everyone, an Adventist version of the the reality show Read more […]
