96-year-old Adventist woman marries for 11th time

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich — Through no fault of her own, Eleanor Chambers has outlived 10 husbands and is about to marry her eleventh, Charles Spencer.  “I lost count after I beat Elizabeth Taylor’s Read more […]

Slide Show: 10 Adventist status symbols

Adventists are called to be sober, humble, meek, all while wearing little to no makeup or jewelry. But that doesn’t mean they don’t have their own ways of letting you know what’s what or who’s who.

Adventist Review rebranded as tabloid

TAKOMA PARK, Md. — Faced with sagging readership enthusiasm and massive young adult disinterest, The Adventist Review has decided to rebrand itself as Remember in Prayer (RIP), the first Read more […]

Portland-based “Keep Adventism Weird” campaign in full swing

PORTLAND, Ore. — Inspired by the wildly-popular “Keep Portland Weird” slogan that has done wonders for the city’s tourism, Portland-based Adventists have decided to promote Adventism’s quirks Read more […]

TractCannon: Witnessing at the pull of a trigger

Fresh off the monster success of the iWade (Sabbath water wading aid), Weimar-based AdvenTech is beta testing an entirely new product line.  Instead of protecting against inappropriate Sabbath Read more […]

Hope Channel to release Adventist version of “The Bachelorette”

“Adventist television just got spicier,” said Hope Channel spokesperson Brad Curtis as he unveiled the channel’s plan to introduce Hope for Everyone, an Adventist version of the the reality show Read more […]

Church board votes to have more arguments

Board members of the Verdugo Seventh-day Adventist Church voted Tuesday on new protocol for their meetings, which includes more arguments, to ensure the meetings definitely go on for too long. The Read more […]

Biblical Research Institute: Carob in violation of 9th Commandment

TAKOMA PARK, Md. — In a landmark ruling for what many are calling the Supreme Court of the Adventist Church, the Biblical Research Institute has ruled that current advertising for carob products Read more […]

10 good things about being an Adventist

10.) A lack of dance skills is actually looked upon favorably. These dance moves by Adventists I have seen done, yes. 9.) Wearing long skirts means you hardly have to shave your legs. 8.) Read more […]