Adventist entertainment
Biblical Research Institute Declares Kimmel’s ‘Indefinite Preemption’ a Heavenly Mandate to Suspend All Late Night TV
SILVER SPRING, MD – The General Conference’s Biblical Research Institute (BRI) has released a formal statement interpreting the indefinite preemption of “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” as a clear, providential sign...
Adventist entertainment
Stephen Colbert Set To Become First Catholic To Join 3ABN
THOMPSONVILLE, IL — Three Angels Broadcasting Network announced that Stephen Colbert will be its newest on-air personality, but instantly clarified that the move should...
Adventist Culture
New Adventist Board Game ‘Sabbath Loopholes’ Becomes Overnight Sensation
In a surprising turn of events, a new board game called "Sabbath Loopholes" has taken the Adventist world by storm, selling out in record...
Adventist entertainment
Father Insists Family Vacation to 3ABN Studios is ‘Just as Fun as Disney World’
WEST FRANKFORT, IL - Local Adventist father, Bob Wellman, has declared that this year's family vacation to the 3ABN studios will be "just as...
Adventist entertainment
Plane Full of Teetotaling Adventists Assumed to be Alcoholics
A plane full of teetotaling Seventh-day Adventists returning from an extreme church building mission trip in the Dominican Republic was assumed to be carrying...
Adventist entertainment
Next GC Session Entirely Dedicated To Generating List of Sabbath-Approved Cartoons
The next General Conference Session promises to be a nail-biter. Forget about pronouncements on women's ordination or eschatological debates. This time, the minds at...
Adventist entertainment
Things Adventists Love Beyond Reason
We Adventists have a near-inexplicable infatuation with a number of things. Here are some of them:
Ellen White paraphernalia like furniture she used
Even the most...
Adventist Celebrities
You Might Be a Conservative Adventist If…
You might be a conservative Adventist if:
You never miss a vespers.
Your idea of a wild Friday night is inviting friends over to read Ellen...
Adventist entertainment
Prince Harry and Meghan Ink Deal with Amazing Facts Television for Monarchy Series
Sacramento, Calif. — Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have announced a groundbreaking collaboration with Amazing Facts, the renowned Adventist television ministry helmed by evangelist...
Adventist entertainment
Andrews University: Watching Animal Planet Counts for Worship Credit
BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — In a stunning announcement, Andrews University has revealed that watching Animal Planet now counts for worship credit.
The new rule states...
Adventist entertainment
John Wick 5 to Feature Newly-Adventist, Non-violent Keanu Reeves Subduing Victims With Knots
In an unexpected plot twist for the upcoming John Wick 5, Keanu Reeves' character, the former hitman John Wick, has converted to Adventism and...