Monday, September 29, 2025

Coffee

Local Pastor’s Sermons Show 73% Improvement After Switching From Postum to Pike Place, Study Finds

DROWSYVILLE, Arkansas — In a revelation that's perking up sleepy Adventist circles, a local pastor's sermons have improved by an astonishing 73% since swapping his trusty Postum for Starbucks'...

Andrews Seminary Professor Looking for New Job After Claiming Caffeine Is Fruit of the Spirit

An Andrews University Seminary professor is reportedly seeking new employment after making the bold claim that caffeine is, in fact, one of the fruits...

Adventist Couple Celebrates Freedom from Caffeine on Independence Day

LOMA LINDA, Calif. - While most Americans celebrated their nation's independence on July 4th, the Johnsons of Loma Linda took the opportunity to commemorate...

Adventist Man Accidentally Drinks Caffeinated Tea, Immediately Grows Tail

John Smith found himself in a hairy situation after accidentally sipping on a cup of caffeinated tea at a community event. The drama unfolded at...

GC: Adventist Coffee Tables Must Be Renamed Hot Chocolate Tables

SILVER SPRING, Md. — The General Conference has declared a radical rebranding of every Adventist coffee table across the globe. Say goodbye to those...

Starbucks Releases GC-Branded Mugs

SILVER SPRING, MD. — This week Starbucks launched a new line of drinkware in Silver Spring, Maryland. Instead of branding mugs with the name...

Postum Addicts Anonymous Holds Inaugural Meeting at GC

SILVER SPRING, Md. --- Hundreds of General Conference officials streamed into the inaugural meeting of the newly-formed Postum Addicts Anonymous this morning. "There's no shame...

Adventist Asks: Should I Say Grace in Starbucks?

ADVENTIST WORLD --- Seattle believer Joe Taza brought a troubling question to his Adventist friends on Facebook recently: should one say grace in Starbucks?...

Badventist builds hidden pantry for coffee products

ADVENTIST WORLD - A diagnosed Badventist rushed to complete the finishing touches on the construction of a hidden pantry this Friday afternoon. Anxious to get...

New NAD headquarters to feature fully decaf Starbucks store

COLUMBIA, Md. --- The new headquarters for the North American Division of the Adventist Church will house the first fully-decaf Starbucks store in the...

Adventist Camp Meeting Reports “Tremendous Revival” After Accidentally Serving Real Coffee

SLEEPY HOLLOW, Colo. --- A Rocky Mountain Conference camp meeting reported a "tremendous revival" today with crowds of Adventist talking, singing and preaching excitedly...