Adventists prohibited from dating within home churches

SILVER SPRING, Md. — In an effort to “stem the splintering of Adventism,” church leadership has banned members from dating other members in their home church. “While we love for Adventists Read more […]

Theology major marches around crush seven times to bring her defenses down

COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — Junior Theology major Nedlan Flanners was seen earlier today somberly marching in circles around an utterly confused girl on the campus of Southern Adventist University. Although Read more […]

Adventist Churches to force visitors to disclose if they are single

SILVER SPRING, Mich. — Visitors to Seventh-day Adventist churches will be asked to stand at the start of services and disclose whether or not they are single starting this week. Church leaders Read more […]

Adventist courtship expert claims prolonged eye contact causes pregnancy

UNITED STATES — A high-profile Christian romance speaker and author of courtship classic I Kissed Eye Contact Goodbye is touring Adventist colleges and academies warning students about the Read more […]

Adventist Church: Coffee dates lead to unequally yoked marriages

SILVER SPRING, Md. — The Seventh-day Adventist Church has sent out a warning to members planning a romantic rendezvous that “coffee dates lead to unequally yoked marriages.” “I am sure there Read more […]

OBG – Slideshow: Are you Adventist hot?

Look what we dug up from the archives! 21 Things that Turn An Adventist On: // Advertise on BarelyAdventist SPONSORED LINKS Single, separated, divorced and widowed Adventists Read more […]

Loma Linda 112-year-old starts TarryNot dating site for centenarian Adventists

LOMA LINDA, Calif. — Recognizing the big bucks to be made in ultra-niche online dating dating sites, Loma Linda centenarian Edith Greenely has taken a break from her day job of self-defense Read more […]

Southern’s Village Market bankrupt after disappointing Valentine’s carob sales

COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — Southern Adventist University’s Village Market has declared bankruptcy after failing to sell any of its Valentine’s carob inventory. Despite starting to advertise the product Read more […]

Forbes rates Walla Walla most expensive way to get married in America

  NEW YORK, N.Y. — In Forbes Magazine’s annual review of American wedding costs, a four-year-or-more education at Walla Walla University has been rated as the most expensive way to get Read more […]