UPDATE (factual and not at all satirical): About 2 hours after the satirical story below was published, the decision was made to completely scrap electronic voting at GC San Antonio. Here’s a link Read more […]
BREAKING NEWS SAN ANTONIO, Texas — Attendance on the first Sabbath of the San Antonio-based General Conference Session has surpassed even the most ambitious expectations and is now hovering Read more […]
SAN ANTONIO, Texas — General Conference Session communications officials have called a series of emergency meetings after what spokesperson Abe Livious called “a torrent of confusing compliments Read more […]
SAN ANTONIO, Texas — A team of National Geographic reporters has declared San Antonio a Blue Zone as scores of centenarians have descended upon the city for the Seventh-day Adventist Church’s Read more […]
SAN ANTONIO, Texas — “I realize this will be an adjustment,” said San Antonio Mayor Ivy Taylor, announcing to local reporters that she was declaring San Antonio a meat-free zone for the period Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — With decisions about future policy looming, there’s one thing General Conference officials can agree about: building The Fellowship Hall, a unique Adventist “sports Read more […]
NEW YORK CITY, N.Y. — In an attempt to brandish his foreign policy credentials and limit the damage from his comments about immigration from Mexico, Donald Trump has announced a tour of Mexico Read more […]
PLACERVILLE, Calif. — “We should have done this years ago,” admitted a somber Max Mace to Adventist reporters this morning, “Today the Heritage Singers are announcing a recall of all of our Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — A massive lobbying effort launched by the Seventh-day Adventist Church to put Ellen G. White on new $10 bills has paid off. Less than a week after news from the US Treasury Read more […]
Today the Pacific Union College Student Association Video Team brings you awkward hugs, awful (read: Adventist) dancing, watchful proposals and much more. Their hilarious Adventist Dating Tips Read more […]
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