Hope Channel to release Adventist version of “The Bachelorette”

“Adventist television just got spicier,” said Hope Channel spokesperson Brad Curtis as he unveiled the channel’s plan to introduce Hope for Everyone, an Adventist version of the the reality show Read more […]

Church board votes to have more arguments

Board members of the Verdugo Seventh-day Adventist Church voted Tuesday on new protocol for their meetings, which includes more arguments, to ensure the meetings definitely go on for too long. The Read more […]

Biblical Research Institute: Carob in violation of 9th Commandment

TAKOMA PARK, Md. — In a landmark ruling for what many are calling the Supreme Court of the Adventist Church, the Biblical Research Institute has ruled that current advertising for carob products Read more […]

10 good things about being an Adventist

10.) A lack of dance skills is actually looked upon favorably. These dance moves by Adventists I have seen done, yes. 9.) Wearing long skirts means you hardly have to shave your legs. 8.) Read more […]

Old man praises Adventism’s sleep quality benefits

PORTLAND, Ore. —  Chuck Matthews, 75, says he’s been a Christian since he was a child but that his recent conversion to Adventism has worked wonders for his sleep.  “I converted mostly Read more […]

Pathfinders mount coup against leader

MARIETTA, Ga. — Maybe it was the way Sue Brimmings counted her Pathfinder honors loudly in public. Maybe it was because she wore the honor patches on two custom-widened sashes she arranged Read more […]

Ask Auntie Adventist: Is Adventism a cult?

Today we inaugurate a new feature, “Ask Auntie Adventist,” where all your burning questions about Adventism are answered by a highly opinionated, semi-trained professional (at what, we won’t Read more […]

Loma Linda centenarian sends would-be mugger to hospital

Loma Linda, Calif. — Muggers in the Loma Linda-area have been dealt a serious setback when it comes to access to the local geriatric population.  Ed Sutherland, 23, was no match for 110-year-old Read more […]

Post Record Keeper shut down, GC declares PowerPoint sole acceptable form of creative expression

Following the recent announcement that the General Conference was scrapping the much-anticipated release of the web series The Record Keeper, a set of guidelines for acceptable creative expression Read more […]

Doug Batchelor announces cave camp

SACRAMENTO, Calif. — “Forget Camp Meeting,” Pastor Doug Batchelor announced today on Amazing Facts TV. “This summer we’re taking spiritual retreats to an amazing new level! I am personally Read more […]