End Times
Prepper Just Wants Time of Trouble To Start Already
BOISE, Idaho — Local Adventist prepper Jared Martin says he’s completely over waiting for the Time of Trouble and would appreciate if it could just “get rolling already.”
Martin has...
End Times
9 Signs We Are Experiencing The Shaking
Adventist conspiracy theorists are on high alert, scanning the horizon for signs of “The Shaking”—that end-time sifting where the true remnant will rise and...
End Times
Biden “Committing 100%” to Adventist NEWSTART Program in Prep for Next Debate
US President Joe Biden has reportedly embraced the Seventh-day Adventist NEWSTART health program to prepare for his next debate. Following his recent debate performance...
End Times
Southern Launching End Times-Themed Tough Mudder Called “Run for the Hills”
COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — Southern Adventist University is set to launch an exhilarating new event designed to test the mettle of even the most devout...
End Times
Entire Congregation Has Beasts of Revelation Nightmares After Fiery End Times Sermon
A fiery End Times sermon left an entire congregation grappling with vivid nightmares of apocalyptic proportions this weekend.
Pastor Elijah Hartsfield, known for his calm...
End Times
Signs Your Church Has an Apocalypse Obsession
1. The sermon illustrations use more beasts from Revelation than stories about Jesus.
2. Instead of a children's story, the kids get a “little horn”...
End Times
LA Adventist Preps Escape to Hollywood Hills for Time of Trouble
Harold Pendergast III, a prominent Los Angeles-based oral surgeon has announced to his local Adventist congregation that he isn’t just waiting around for the...
End Times
GC Recommends Extra Long Skirts for Maximum Modesty During Time of Trouble
SILVER SPRING, Md. — The General Conference sent out an urgent announcement today reminding members of the need for “maximum modesty throughout the Time...
End Times
Trump Claims US is Going to Hell, Adventists Respond: ‘We Told You So’
In a recent speech, former President Donald Trump claimed that the US is "going to hell", sparking a wave of responses from Adventists who...
End Times
Walking Dead writers confess to lifting plot twists from End Times-themed Sabbath School Quarterly
HOLLYWOOD, Calif. --- Writers for hit post-apocalyptic television series The Walking Dead have confessed to devouring this quarter's Adventist Sabbath School Lesson on the End Times...