Big Franks
Wilson Blames Bankruptcy of Loma Linda Foods on The Shaking
In a statement released from his office surrounded by a curated selection of unopened Loma Linda Big Franks cans, GC President Ted Wilson addressed the recent bankruptcy of the...
Loma Linda
Loma Linda University Church to Install Self-Shaking Pews to Wake Snoozing Members
Loma Linda, CA, May 30, 2024 – In a pioneering move to enhance the worship experience, Loma Linda University Church is excited to announce...
Adornment
Blockbuster Sequel To Feature Barbie Training For Medical Mission at Loma Linda
LOMA LINDA, Calif. — Following the roaring success of her summer blockbuster hit, studio bosses promise Barbie will soon back with a whole new...
Adventist entertainment
PAW Patrol: The Movie To Be Set In Loma Linda
Everyone’s favorite pups will not be saving lives in their hometown of Adventure Bay in PAW Patrol: The Movie. The hotly-anticipated feature-length production is...
Biden
Biden Grills Harris On Pathfinder Pledge & Law Ahead Of Loma Linda Campaign Stop
WASHINGTON, D.C. --- Within hours of announcing California Senator Kamala Harris as his running mate, Democratic presidential hopeful Joe Biden cleared his schedule to...
Loma Linda
Loma Linda Church Greeters Trade Handshakes For Fist Bumps To Fight Coronavirus
LOMA LINDA, Calif. --- Adventist churches in the Loma Linda area have taken it upon themselves to set a good example during the coronavirus...
Loma Linda
Global Tuna Population Implores You To Eat Tuno
Underwater --- Representatives of the global tuna population are begging humans to try out Loma Linda Tuno, the new fish-free protein released by the...
Loma Linda
Big Franks declared “unclean veggie meat” due to advent of Simple Franks
LOMA LINDA, Calif. --- Adventists around the world have been called to abandon the "unclean veggie meat" in Big Franks now that a healthier,...
Adventist Prophesy
Loma Linda residents furious as area code changes to (666)
LOMA LINDA, Calif. --- Livid Loma Linda residents have taken to the streets of the typically tranquil city in Southern California's San Bernardino County....
Baptism
Loma Linda University Church faces shutdown for not changing baptismal water
LOMA LINDA, Calif. --- Loma Linda city public health authorities have announced the likely shutdown of Loma Linda University Church after discovering that the...
Adventist Music
Justin Bieber to lead praise at Loma Linda Academy Week of Prayer
LOMA LINDA, Calif. --- Openly Christian heartthrob and recording artist Justin Bieber has accepted an invitation to be the praise leader for Loma Linda...