Adventist Church to approve women’s ordination as soon as sexism is eradicated worldwide

SILVER SPRING, Md. — “We may well ordain women as pastors one day,” said General Conference spokesperson Desmond Redford at a press conference held this morning. “We just want to make sure Read more […]

Adventist date doctor promises romance for single Adventists over 30

Berkeley, Calif. — Justin Tamber, a self-styled “Adventist Date Doctor” promises prospective Adventist clients over age 30 a happy romance with a fellow Adventist within a month of signing Read more […]

Slide Show: 11 ways to sleep in church

It’s happened to all of us: You’re sitting in church when your eyelids start to droop. Instead of pinching yourself to stay awake (or worse, your mom doing it), here are some ways to sneak in some Zzzz’s…

La Sierra in trouble as Language Department claims to offer the gift of tongues

RIVERSIDE, Calif. — Days away from the start of the Fall Quarter, La Sierra University has infuriated church leaders with a claim by the university’s Department of World Languages. “Come Read more […]

Slide Show: 15 reasons you’re late to church

We’ve all had those Sabbath mornings when we were running behind and slid into the pew a few or 30 minutes late. Here, some of our favorite reasons why…

Adventist Church partners with MythBusters TV show to stem conspiracy theory growth among members

SILVER SPRING, Md. — “Enough is enough,” said General Conference Director of Communications Jan Cunningham. “Never in the history of our church have there been as many conspiracy theories Read more […]

Southern to launch holy kissing campaign

COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — Ahead of the first day of classes Southern Adventist University has created a new slogan for the 2014-2015 school year: “Holy Kissing.” Students will be encouraged to Read more […]

GC leaders rushed away in ambulances after Ice Bucket Challenge

SILVER SPRING, Md. — Right after finishing work today, 30 high-level General Conference Leaders were rushed away to local hospitals in ambulances after having buckets of ice water dumped Read more […]

Coffee Shop Owners Association: Best place to open a coffee shop is just outside an Adventist college

  “If your dream is to open a coffee shop, put it next to an Adventist college campus,” says the US-based Coffee Shop Owners Association (CSOA). In their quarterly best practice advisory, Read more […]

Slide Show: Celebrities with an Adventist Connection — Part II

The peculiar people have some interesting ties to some very familiar faces. You might just be surprised at who turns up in this list, and who’s NOT on the list (Guess what: Ozzy Osbourne, Mark Mark Wahlberg and Jaci Velasquez are NOT connected to the Adventist church. But don’t let that stop you from singing “Flower in the Rain” in church, teenage girls.)