CARTOON: More Uses for Soybeans
Attention BarelyAdventist readers! We have started accepting cartoon submissions. A huge thanks goes out to Adventist cartoonist, Amy G. Dala for this one titled “More Uses for Soybeans”: SPONSORED Read more […]
Jennifer Lawrence to play Ellen White in GC-funded movie
HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — A full-length drama about the life and work of Ellen G. White, the female co-founder of the Seventh-day Adventist Church is in pre-production and Jennifer Lawrence has been Read more […]
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General Conference employees forbidden from buying “Popemobile” Fiats
BREAKING NEWS SILVER SPRING, Md. — Hours after Pope Francis left the United States, General Conference employees received an email with strict instructions to refrain completely from buying Read more […]
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Adventist church cool with gay people as long as they’re not gay about it
CAPE TOWN, South Africa — Affirmed in our Straighthood, the first-ever Adventist conference on alternative sexualities, was held in mid-March this year. It was attended by almost 350 delegates Read more […]
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Church board votes to have more arguments
Board members of the Verdugo Seventh-day Adventist Church voted Tuesday on new protocol for their meetings, which includes more arguments, to ensure the meetings definitely go on for too long. The Read more […]
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Old man praises Adventism’s sleep quality benefits
PORTLAND, Ore. — Chuck Matthews, 75, says he’s been a Christian since he was a child but that his recent conversion to Adventism has worked wonders for his sleep. “I converted mostly Read more […]
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Pathfinders mount coup against leader
MARIETTA, Ga. — Maybe it was the way Sue Brimmings counted her Pathfinder honors loudly in public. Maybe it was because she wore the honor patches on two custom-widened sashes she arranged Read more […]
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Ask Auntie Adventist: Is Adventism a cult?
Today we inaugurate a new feature, “Ask Auntie Adventist,” where all your burning questions about Adventism are answered by a highly opinionated, semi-trained professional (at what, we won’t Read more […]
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Loma Linda centenarian sends would-be mugger to hospital
Loma Linda, Calif. — Muggers in the Loma Linda-area have been dealt a serious setback when it comes to access to the local geriatric population. Ed Sutherland, 23, was no match for 110-year-old Read more […]
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Post Record Keeper shut down, GC declares PowerPoint sole acceptable form of creative expression
Following the recent announcement that the General Conference was scrapping the much-anticipated release of the web series The Record Keeper, a set of guidelines for acceptable creative expression Read more […]
