Adventist church cool with gay people as long as they’re not gay about it

CAPE TOWN, South Africa — Affirmed in our Straighthood, the first-ever Adventist conference on alternative sexualities, was held in mid-March this year.  It was attended by almost 350 delegates Read more […]

Church board votes to have more arguments

Board members of the Verdugo Seventh-day Adventist Church voted Tuesday on new protocol for their meetings, which includes more arguments, to ensure the meetings definitely go on for too long. The Read more […]

Old man praises Adventism’s sleep quality benefits

PORTLAND, Ore. —  Chuck Matthews, 75, says he’s been a Christian since he was a child but that his recent conversion to Adventism has worked wonders for his sleep.  “I converted mostly Read more […]

Pathfinders mount coup against leader

MARIETTA, Ga. — Maybe it was the way Sue Brimmings counted her Pathfinder honors loudly in public. Maybe it was because she wore the honor patches on two custom-widened sashes she arranged Read more […]

Ask Auntie Adventist: Is Adventism a cult?

Today we inaugurate a new feature, “Ask Auntie Adventist,” where all your burning questions about Adventism are answered by a highly opinionated, semi-trained professional (at what, we won’t Read more […]

Loma Linda centenarian sends would-be mugger to hospital

Loma Linda, Calif. — Muggers in the Loma Linda-area have been dealt a serious setback when it comes to access to the local geriatric population.  Ed Sutherland, 23, was no match for 110-year-old Read more […]

Post Record Keeper shut down, GC declares PowerPoint sole acceptable form of creative expression

Following the recent announcement that the General Conference was scrapping the much-anticipated release of the web series The Record Keeper, a set of guidelines for acceptable creative expression Read more […]

Doug Batchelor announces cave camp

SACRAMENTO, Calif. — “Forget Camp Meeting,” Pastor Doug Batchelor announced today on Amazing Facts TV. “This summer we’re taking spiritual retreats to an amazing new level! I am personally Read more […]

Southern to be renamed Little Debbie University

Collegedale, Tenn. – Ever the innovators in Adventist education, Southern Adventist University administrators have agreed to a complete re-branding of the institution.  Effective immediately, Read more […]

Heritage Singers to release hip-hop album

PLACERVILLE, Calif. —  In what has quickly been branded as the biggest reinvention in Adventist music history, the Heritage Singers announced today that they will release a hip-hop album.  Read more […]