Most Segregated Institution In America Condemns Racism

The wealthiest, most powerful nation in the world is reeling from the fatal results of systemic racism. As Americans grieve the latest atrocities, the most segregated institution in the country Read more […]

Adventist Churches Not Re-Opening Until Everyone Gets Haircut

Finally. ADVENTIST WORLD — Conference and union leaders across the Adventist world have warned their churches will stay shut until their members get haircuts. “Lack of access to hair salons Read more […]

Trump Eating Nothing But Haystacks To Boost Coronavirus Resistance

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Reporters at today’s White House press briefing were notified that President Donald Trump has taken to exclusively eating haystacks to boost his resistance to COVID-19 infection. In Read more […]

Area Adventist Kicked Out Of Zoom Church For Clapping

BOOMBOX, Mich. — Local Adventist Brent Krisma is on the hunt for a new online church service after last Sabbath’s broadcast from his home congregation went sideways. Krisma had been so moved Read more […]

Wilson Sets Up Nominating Committee Of One To Replace Jackson

BFFs SILVER SPRING, Md. — Calling North American Division president Dan Jackson, his “brother from another mother,” General Conference President Ted Wilson acted quickly as Jackson’s official Read more […]

Adventist Drive-In Theater Churches Feature Priority Angel Parking

https://commons.m.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Autokino_Hueckelhoven.jpg#mw-jump-to-licenseImage Credit: ErriTollsten ADVENTIST WORLD — As more and more Adventist congregations have turned to drive-in Read more […]

Contactless Footwashing Coming To An Adventist Church Near You

Showers of blessing… SILVER SPRING, Md. —- When Adventist Churches finally re-open, members can expect to see a slew of changes on Sabbath morning. One of the areas that will never be Read more […]