ADVENTIST WORLD — Adventist deacons across the denomination have been given the authority to drive out confirmed over-socializers with whips if they do not clear the sanctuary within 15 minutes Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — A brand new oversight committee concerned exclusively with Sabbath wading, was announced in the General Conference auditorium this morning. Armed with bulky measuring sticks, Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — A massive renovation project has transformed the General Conference auditorium into an echo chamber featuring cutting-edge technology that ensures those inside the hall Read more […]
Adventist World — Adventist Book Center outlets will no longer carry copies of the Old Testament due to what the stores call “stratospheric levels of sex, violence and drug abuse contained in Read more […]
ADVENTIST WORLD — Happy Clappy Publications has announced the latest in its line of progressive Adventist titles: 28 Optional Tips. The slim, scented pamphlet downgrades each Adventist fundamental Read more […]
COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — Southern Adventist University has declared a State of Emergency after what administration described as a “troubling drop in marriage rates among our students.” The school’s Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Hope Channel has just launched a new trivia game show titled “Who Said It – EGW or the Bible?” The show is an effort to clear up Adventist confusion about the origin of Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Immediately after Maroon 5’s performance at this year’s Super Bowl, the General Conference commissioned Adam Levine’s tattoo artist to do what it called “cutting-edge apocalyptic Read more […]
ADVENTIST WORLD — Potluck dishes at Adventist churches will be officially ranked as of this Sabbath. A church board subcommittee at each congregation will be assigned to pre-taste each dish Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — In what has universally been acknowledged as the biggest bust of the operation so far, the Mueller Investigation has discovered what it calls a “robust stash of grade A Read more […]
By continuing to use the site, you agree to the use of cookies. more information
The cookie settings on this website are set to "allow cookies" to give you the best browsing experience possible. If you continue to use this website without changing your cookie settings or you click "Accept" below then you are consenting to this.
