Things Adventists Love Beyond Reason
We Adventists have a near-inexplicable infatuation with a number of things. Here are some of them: Ellen White paraphernalia like furniture she used Even the most far-flung Ellen White research Read more […]
How to be Adventist in 2024
Breaking Out of the Bubble in 2024: We Adventists love our bubbles, but it’s time to branch out and engage with the wider world. Let’s shed the “exclusive/peculiar Adventist” stereotype and actively Read more […]
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Loma Linda University releases tick that makes you vegetarian
LOMA LINDA, Calif. — A team of Adventist ultravegetarians, some random hikers and several senior Loma Linda University biologists have successfully engineered a tick that makes those it bites vegetarian. “We Read more […]
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God Wondering if Pastor Almost Done With Sermon
Pastor Perkins’ Sabbath sermon, a meandering odyssey through the Book of Numbers, had long ago passed the point of diminishing returns. Up in the heavens, God yawned. He’d heard this particular Read more […]
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Adventist Resolutions for the New Year
Forget the typical resolutions: this list isn’t about hitting the gym or vowing to finally organize that sock drawer. No, this list is about elevating you to Super Adventist status: 1. Read more […]
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Doug Batchelor launches “Santa isn’t real” tour of Adventist kindergartens
Adventist kindergarteners around the country have never been more enraged. The source of their anger appears to be famed Adventist evangelist Doug Batchelor who has launched a whirlwind Santa Read more […]
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MYSTERIOUS: Local Member Always Out Of Town For Scheduled Church Work Bees
Joe Peresoso has an impeccable talent for conveniently being out of town whenever work bees are scheduled at Dusty Shelf SDA. The word around church is this elusive member has a travel excuse Read more […]
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Beelzebub’s Bulletin
Dear Adventists, You guys are the best! You’ve come a long way from your annoying beginnings. All this openness to new light from my Adversary was really freaking me out when you got started Read more […]
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Here’s How You Can Help BarelyAdventist Grow
Hi Everyone! Sevvy, the founder of BarelyAdventist here. I want to thank all of you for your amazing support over the years. Early next year, BA turns 10 years old. It’s quite a milestone! From Read more […]
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You Might Be a Conservative Adventist If…
You might be a conservative Adventist if: You never miss a vespers. Your idea of a wild Friday night is inviting friends over to read Ellen White’s writings aloud. After vespers, of course. You Read more […]
