Adventist 30 lbs heavier since Thanksgiving decision to let go and let God

Chattanooga, Tenn. — Since a somber decision to “let go and let God” while going for yet another serving of Tofurky at this year’s Thanksgiving table, lifelong Adventist Fred Munchur has put Read more […]

Signs You Are an Adventist Missionary Kid

Adventist missionary kids are a breed of their own. They can be confusing to their friends that didn’t grow up the same way. Here are some of the signs you grew up as an MK: 1. Rootless Wanderer: Read more […]

Things Adventists Love Beyond Reason

We Adventists have a near-inexplicable infatuation with a number of things. Here are some of them: Ellen White paraphernalia like furniture she used Even the most far-flung Ellen White research Read more […]

How to be Adventist in 2024

Breaking Out of the Bubble in 2024: We Adventists love our bubbles, but it’s time to branch out and engage with the wider world. Let’s shed the “exclusive/peculiar Adventist” stereotype and actively Read more […]

Loma Linda University releases tick that makes you vegetarian

LOMA LINDA, Calif. — A team of Adventist ultravegetarians, some random hikers and several senior Loma Linda University biologists have successfully engineered a tick that makes those it bites vegetarian. “We Read more […]

God Wondering if Pastor Almost Done With Sermon

Pastor Perkins’ Sabbath sermon, a meandering odyssey through the Book of Numbers, had long ago passed the point of diminishing returns. Up in the heavens, God yawned. He’d heard this particular Read more […]

Doug Batchelor launches “Santa isn’t real” tour of Adventist kindergartens

Adventist kindergarteners around the country have never been more enraged. The source of their anger appears to be famed Adventist evangelist Doug Batchelor who has launched a whirlwind Santa Read more […]

MYSTERIOUS: Local Member Always Out Of Town For Scheduled Church Work Bees

Joe Peresoso has an impeccable talent for conveniently being out of town whenever work bees are scheduled at Dusty Shelf SDA. The word around church is this elusive member has a travel excuse Read more […]