Landfills beg Adventists to stop carpeting cities with free Great Controversy paperbacks

SILVER SPRING, Md. — Waste management authorities in cities across the country have joined voices to formally implore the General Conference to stop mass distribution of free copies of the Adventist Read more […]

Adventist Church: Coffee dates lead to unequally yoked marriages

SILVER SPRING, Md. — The Seventh-day Adventist Church has sent out a warning to members planning a romantic rendezvous that “coffee dates lead to unequally yoked marriages.” “I am sure there Read more […]

Loma Linda residents furious as area code changes to (666)

LOMA LINDA, Calif. — Livid Loma Linda residents have taken to the streets of the typically tranquil city in Southern California’s San Bernardino County. The cause for the uproar: news that the Read more […]

ļ»æSouthern freshman flying to school must pay for extra bags

SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Southern Adventist University freshman Demas Yado arrived at Sacramento International Airport today wondering if she had forgotten to pack anything for school. The aspiring Read more […]

Adventist Church starts ‘No Sing’ list for special music performers

SILVER SPRING, Md. — The Seventh-day Adventist Church has assembled an international taskforce aimed at identifying and silencing the worst singers in the denomination. The group will create Read more […]

Adventist churches install isolation pews for chattiest members

SILVER SPRING,Md. — Seventh-day Adventist churches around the world are being fitted with single-occupant isolation pews this week. The pews are the latest attempt by church leaders to combat Read more […]

Michael Phelps thanks Ted Wilson for death stare coaching

RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil — US Olympian Michael Phelps delighted the world with a death stare aimed at fellow olympian Chad Le Clos yesterday. Although the gold medalist’s expression was immediately Read more […]

Crafty Adventist mom serves up great disappointment

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — Sabbath School crafts enthusiast and Adventist mother of three, Ricci Sima rushed out of her house earlier today claiming she had to run errands. As a snack for her Read more […]

Andrews seminary to identify potential prophecy evangelists with this crossword

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — The Andrews University-based Seventh-day Adventist Theological Seminary has revealed a mandatory screening exam for all incoming students intended to help identify those Read more […]