SILVER SPRING, Md. — General Conference leaders have banned pastors from referencing the Genesis Creation account after determining that the story contained an “unacceptable amount of nudity.” GC Read more […]
BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — In a passionately-delivered sermon this Sabbath, Pioneer Memorial Church Senior Pastor Dwight Nelson claimed that the eight thing God hates is carob. After rattling Read more […]
BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — A devout yet slightly odd third generation Adventist walked the streets of Berrien Springs this morning wearing elaborate, highly authentic-looking upper body armor Read more […]
LOMA LINDA, Calif. — An Adventist man with a large plank lodged in his eye was rushed to Loma Linda University Medical Center this morning. Writhing in pain, Jud Giee said he had no idea Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Adventist researchers at the Biblical Research Institute (BRI) announced today that the Promised Land to which Moses was leading the Israelites was flowing with “soy milk Read more […]
COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — Lis Redbucks started this morning with an unusual amount of pep in her step after finally having found a painless way to witness about her Adventist faith. The secret? Read more […]
RIVERSIDE, Calif. — With just days to go before Christmas break, La Sierra University Theology Major Tei Amo has confessed to feeling a calling deep inside to ask out the hottest nursing major Read more […]
LOS GATOS, Calif. — Media giant Netflix has announced that it has acquired the rights to stream Adventist steampunk series The Record Keeper on its platform. The acquisition negotiation was Read more […]
CULVER CITY, Calif. — Celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay has decided to add a new show to his current filming schedule. The new series will be called Heaven’s Kitchen and will attempt to single out Read more […]
NEW YORK, N.Y. — In a tirade against Mexico’s stealing of US business, President-Elect Donald Trump added that Mexico-based University of Montemorelos was stealing Adventist students from Adventist Read more […]
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