GC bans kissing in Adventist wedding ceremonies
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Adventists can kiss kissing at weddings goodbye. As part of a General Conference campaign to enforce modesty standards across the world church, the world headquarters Read more […]
Category: Adventist Culture
Burger King to Adventist Children’s Sabbath Schools: “Stop stealing crowns!”
Burger King crowns – the ultimate Sabbath School prop… Photo by Jimmy Mobley MIAMI-DADE COUNTY, Fla. — Burger King’s corporate office has registered an official complaint with the North Read more […]
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Slide Show: 15 things Adventists say, decoded
Ever wonder about the meaning of those strange phrases and words Adventists let fly with the greatest of ease? Wonder no more! Read on to find out what your Adventist friends are really trying to tell you.
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Slide Show: 28 fundamental irritations of Adventists
The following is a list of things sure to get under an Adventist’s skin. But count it all joy, friends: Trials bring about character!
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Slide Show: 10 resolutions Adventists probably won’t keep
Ah, the resolutions of a new year: filled with so many good intentions, so much promise! Too bad it will all probably degenerate into a wretched suckpool of despair, half-hearted excuses and flagging energy in a matter of months. But hey, you never know. This could be your year!
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Adventists cancel Welcome Back party for Year Without God Ex-Pastor, Ryan Bell
LOS ANGELES, Calif. — “We better hope the party supply place does returns,” said exasperated Adventist events manager, Maria Romero, as she stood in a half-decorated downtown Los Angeles Read more […]
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Poll: 99% of Adventists believe it is better to give than to receive CHIP cookbooks
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The results of a Pew Survey into cultural attitudes within Adventism has unearthed timely data as Adventists everywhere gather under the Christmas tree to exchange gifts: Read more […]
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Malfunction on ADRA’s Useful Christmas Gift catalog results in massive goat delivery to Paradise Adventist Church
PARADISE, Calif. — A makeshift petting zoo has been opened in the parking lot of Paradise Adventist Church after an unexpected Christmas Eve delivery of approximately 300 goats. The surprise Read more […]
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Pagan symbol witch-hunt leads to disassembling of church nativity scene
Red Bluff, Calif. — A wave of confusion and finger-pointing has hit the congregation of Central Adventist Church. Members in the know say it all started when traveling evangelist Fred Durbar Read more […]
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Canadian University College abandons status as ‘Most Confusingly-Named School in Adventism’
ALBERTA, Canada — Administrators at Canadian University College waited for students to leave for Christmas break to announce that the school was abandoning its long-held status as “Most Read more […]
