Michael Phelps thanks Ted Wilson for death stare coaching

RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil — US Olympian Michael Phelps delighted the world with a death stare aimed at fellow olympian Chad Le Clos yesterday. Although the gold medalist’s expression was immediately Read more […]

Crafty Adventist mom serves up great disappointment

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — Sabbath School crafts enthusiast and Adventist mother of three, Ricci Sima rushed out of her house earlier today claiming she had to run errands. As a snack for her Read more […]

Andrews seminary to identify potential prophecy evangelists with this crossword

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — The Andrews University-based Seventh-day Adventist Theological Seminary has revealed a mandatory screening exam for all incoming students intended to help identify those Read more […]

115-year-old Adventist wins gold at World Breakdancing Olympics

VENICE BEACH, Calif. — An unlikely athlete took gold at the World Breakdancing Olympics which concluded today. Gertrude Logan, known simply as G-Lo in breakdancing circles, crushed her competitors Read more […]

Del Delker and Dolly Parton to collaborate on gospel classics album

NASHVILLE, Tenn. — One of the undisputed legends of Adventist singing will join forces with one of the greatest popular singers in American history to release an album of gospel classics. Del Read more […]

Visitor to Adventist Church calls 911 to report guy drowning people

HUNTSVILLE, Ala. — Police stormed a Seventh-day Adventist Church this morning after reports that a man was drowning people in a tank. The 911 call came from Primera Ves, a newcomer to Still Read more […]

Adventist caught vacuuming after Friday sunset

BERKSHIRE, England — Earlier today a sudden bolt of lightning tore a hole in the roof of a house belonging to a Seventh-day Adventist. The lightning strike occured minutes after sunset as Read more […]

Adventist disfellowshipped after Rice Krispies found in his Special K Loaf

COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — Lifelong Adventist and faithful potluck contributor Chip Skeete was disfellowshipped from Collegedale Church after church elders discovered Rice Krispies in the Special Read more […]