Electronic scoreboard to track giving in Adventist churches

Adventist churchgoers will notice something different in church this Sabbath. All church sanctuaries will feature an electronic scoreboard to the left of the pulpit. The scoreboard will Read more […]

Saturday Law declared in Collegedale, Tenn.

COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — The Board of Commissioners for the City of Collegedale, Tenn. has passed a city-wide policy requiring all business and places of work to cease operations from Friday to Saturday Read more […]

All Adventist pastors’ wives to be compensated for pain and suffering

  SILVER SPRING, Md. — Adventist pastors’ wives around the world are celebrating a groundbreaking victory with the announcement that they will be added to the official church payroll.  Read more […]

Southern California Conference to build angel-friendly movie theater

LOS ANGELES, Calif. — In a bid to counter what the it calls the “superficial filth machine” that is Hollywood, the Southern California Conference (SCC) has opened the first “angel-friendly” Read more […]

Walla Walla University to offer arranged marriages to all single students

COLLEGE PLACE, Wash. — “After years of intense competition, Walla Walla has dealt Southern a death blow,” read an internal Walla Walla University administration memo that was leaked this morning. For Read more […]

A doctor is born to Adventist parents

Dr. John Lamston has got all the gear… ORLANDO, Fla. — May and Shawn Lamston are the proud parents of a beautiful 3-month-old baby boy and they’ve got big plans.  “I knew from the moment Read more […]

29th Fundamental: Vegetarianism no longer optional

SILVER SPRING, Md. — Meat-eating Seventh-day Adventists may soon be a thing of the past. In what analysts describe as a tightening of religious identity, the Adventist Church is contemplating Read more […]

EXPOSED: Most overused pick-up line in Adventism

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — According to an international survey of 10,000 single Seventh-day Adventist women over the age of 21, the most overused pick-up line used by single Adventist men is Read more […]

Adventists named ‘World’s Worst Dancers’

  PARIS, France — Seventh-day Adventists have been officially identified as the World’s Worst Dancers.  The finding comes as a result of a five-year study by a team of sociologists Read more […]

Michigan Conference institutes head coverings for women

LANSING, Mich. — In a move that has caused quite the stir among Midwestern Adventists, the Michigan Conference has enforced a new female dress code in churches across the state. Effective Read more […]