ANCIENT JUDEA — A catering crisis blew up minutes after the prodigal son returned to his father. Although most of the household and its well-compensated staff were delighted at the announcement Read more […]
OSHKOSH, Wis. — The collecting and trading of countless pins at the International Pathfinder Camporee in Oshkosh, Wisconsin, has prompted an emergency clarification of the Adventist stance on Read more […]
ADVENTIST WORLD — Adventists around the world have been directed to buy Frigid a new smart fridge that is designed to keep members accountable health-wise. Frigid reports the presence of Read more […]
TODAY IN ANCIENT ISRAEL — King David was referred to a compliance committee earlier today after religious leaders caught wind of the fact that he had spent a good portion of the day dancing Read more […]
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Right on the heels of expressing an interest in “buying” Greenland, US President Donald Trump has asked Adventist volunteer building organization, Maranatha, to develop the Read more […]
BREEZE, Calif. — Members of Grace Fellowship Adventist Church held a formal candle light service last Friday night, vowing publicly never to dampen the congregational vibe by calling sin by Read more […]
HONG KONG – Over-stretched Hong Kong law enforcement authorities have invited a General Conference compliance committee to put a stop to pro-democracy protests that have rocked the city for weeks. Read more […]
ADVENTIST WORLD — For the first time in their careers, Adventist evangelists are having to navigate an altar call time limit. New denominational altar call guidelines state that if evangelists Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — In the biggest reversal in church policy since, well, EVER, the GC is now requiring married Adventists to wear wedding bands. “Although we won’t be opening jewellery Read more […]
Mole Hill, Tenn. — Stor Kallare, a licensed contractor with a specialty in “luxury, prophecy-savvy design” is currently over-booked transforming the basements of Adventists across the nation, Read more […]
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