Ted Wilson to pardon Tofurky for Thanksgiving
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Preparations are being made for the debut of what church officials predict will be a huge annual hit: The General Conference President pardoning Tofurky just inside the Read more […]
Broadway Musical Based on Adventist History Under Development
NEW YORK, N.Y. — Following the worldwide success of the “The Book of Mormon,” Broadway investors are discussing the possibility of another musical based on another American religion: Read more […]
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La Sierra board shocks with “turkey is not meat” statement
RIVERSIDE, Calif. — La Sierra University’s Board of Trustees released a statement today categorically defining turkey as a non-meat food. The board convened days after the university had Read more […]
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Freezing Andrews students frantically apply for missions posts
BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — The Student Missions office at Andrews University has been a hub of frenzied activity over the last 48 hours. Office staff are reporting “stratospheric” levels Read more […]
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Slide Show: Things Adventists secretly hope to do before Jesus comes again
Adventists believe in the imminent return of Jesus. If you grew up Adventist, you believed Jesus could come at any moment, but like, it was REALLY SOON. Yeah, heaven is going to blow your mind with its beyond-your-comprehension-awesomeness — you can’t wait to wrestle with lions and/or have your own pet panda — but at some point, we bet these secret yearnings crossed your mind.
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Reformed partyer featured in Sabbath School mission story sick of people knowing his business
SAN DIEGO, Calif. — Romeo Douglas says that the only thing he regrets more than wasting several youthful years on parties and alcohol is agreeing to be featured as the mission story for Read more […]
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Collegedale Church instructs members to bring exact change for offering next Sabbath
COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — An email titled “URGENT” was sent to the over 3000 members of Collegedale Church this morning in response to what Church Treasurer, Keefer Spears is calling “the longest Read more […]
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Slide Show: How to date like an Adventist
So you want to date an Adventist, or just date like one. Here are some words to the wise to help navigate the road to non-fornicating romance.
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Prison Ministry Trainees to get field practice with Southern’s students
COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — The North American Division has chosen to send all trainee prison ministry specialists to earn their field study credits by ministering to students at Southern Adventist Read more […]
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Walla Walla University Church to get sleep cam
COLLEGE PLACE, Wash. — Walla Walla University Church is introducing its latest technological investment next Sabbath: a sleep cam. A dedicated camera operator will scan the congregation for Read more […]
